Money Doesn’t Always Equal Effort

Let’s talk about why money doesn’t always equal effort…

Oftentimes, social media and society in general can paint an unrealistic picture of how relationships should be. For example, if you see a video of a couple where one of the partners spends a large amount of money on a gift, a trip, or a proposal, you might start expecting the same of your partner. Many people do not have the means to do something that affluent, or are a bit more conservative with money. If you are in a long distance relationship, like many of our readers, it is likely that you do not have a ton of money to be spending on constant extravagant things because you need to be saving for trips to visit your partner.

Just because your partner does not constantly spend boatloads of money on you does not mean they do not care. Of course there are some things that you shouldn’t settle for, but it’s perfectly okay if a ten-second video doesn’t fully capture the nuances of your relationship. It is important to remember that what you see online is never the full story.

Love Bombing

One extreme example of an unhealthy relationship is love bombing. Love bombing can occur when a boyfriend or girlfriend shows their partner excessive attention and effort at the beginning of the relationship as a tactic to eventually control them, as defined by WebMD. However, just because your partner exhibits some signs of this does not mean they are actually love bombing you. There’s nothing wrong with your partner showing you lots of attention if they are just an affectionate person and it’s truly out of love. This also goes for spending a lot of money. If you or your partner have the means to spend a large amount of money on gifts it is completely normal, as long as it’s being done for the right reasons. Someone could spend thousands of dollars on a gift just to say they spent the money, but it holds little significance if the content of the gift is not meaningful. 

There are so many ways that you can put in effort and show your partner that you care about them without spending a ton of money. 

Some simple, inexpensive ways to show your partner that you love them are:

• Homemade gifts
• Thoughtful notes
• Putting aside time for genuine conversations
• Fun activities that are meaningful to both of you
• Cooking them a meal for a date night in
• Telling them when something made you think of them
• Paying attention to their love language and catering to it (read last week’s blog on quality time)

When your partner takes the time to do little things that are important to you, it often holds more significance than spending money on meaningless material items. One of the most important aspects of being a good boyfriend or girlfriend simply requires you to pay attention to your partner’s interests and needs. Some of this might feel redundant and obvious, but it can be so easy to get in your own head about things that really do not matter that much. 

It is important to remember that money does not always equal effort and you and your partner should be putting in equal effort as each other. Before complaining that your partner doesn’t put in enough effort, make sure that you are putting in effort for them. 

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READ LAST WEEK’S BLOGS

–Quality Time in Long Distance

–Why You Should Always Have a Date on the Calendar