Quality Time in Long Distance

There are many components of long distance that can make it challenging, and making sure both parties feel love and effort is a big part of that. Outside of long distance, it is important to understand both you and your partner’s love languages in order to make sure you know how to best show love to each other. Take the 5 Love Languages quiz at the end of this blog!

If you’ve never heard of them before, Baptist pastor Gary Chapman developed the concept of the 5 Love Languages a few decades ago to try and provide some insight into how individuals feel most loved in their relationships (both romantic and not!). Every individual has a primary love language that makes them feel the most loved. While it is very possible to feel loved by your secondary love languages, most people have one that scores even the smallest bit higher than the others. 

The love languages are as follows:

• Quality Time
• Words of Affirmation
• Physical Touch
• Gifts 
• Acts of Service

While long distance can impact all of these categories – especially quality time and physical touch – this blog will focus on quality time and fostering this connection while you are apart. 

People who prefer quality time over other love languages often enjoy “activity” dates, meaning they would rather go out and do something instead of watching a movie or getting ice cream. Activity dates are good for relationships whether your love language is quality time or not because they are great ways to make memories, try a new adventure, and find hobbies that you and your partner can bond over. Fortunately, there are some upcoming blogs going more in depth with the importance of activity dates, but now it’s time for the big question. How does one show quality time in long distance?

One of the most classic ways that long distance couples try to mimic in-person dates and cultivate quality time is by watching a movie on Facetime together. I think this is a great way to have a cozy evening with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you are apart.

Another fun similar idea is to start a series and only watch episodes when you’re on the phone together. My boyfriend and I just finished a series and we really enjoyed watching it together because it gave us something to look forward to at the end of the day. Also, we were able to continue the series together in person when visiting each other, which helped us to spend even more quality time together.

Some ways to spice up these virtual TV/movie dates would be to order each other dinner, buy your favorite snacks to share, or pour the same drink to make it even more special.

Another great way to show quality time in long distance is through online games. Before you click off because this doesn’t sound like you, hear me out. I am one of the last people you would expect to play online games, but it is a great activity to do on Facetime when you run out of things to talk about. If actual “gaming” is not for you, there are many other online games that are fun to do with your partner. My boyfriend and I both like word games, so Words With Friends is something we always have going back and forth. iMessage games are also another option you can never go wrong with because you can play them both throughout the day and while on the phone.

The biggest thing to remember about quality time in long distance is that you both need to be putting in the effort and carving out time for these activities. Some of these things can take as long or as short as you like if you have a busy schedule. Even little acts of love show your partner that you care enough to set aside some time for them and make a world of difference in long distance. 

Be sure to follow along for more about relationships, long distance, and dates. We want you to help us create your perfect virtual date experience!

–Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages Quiz

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–Tell us your favorite types of dates